There was a conversation on the "forum that shall not be named" recently about bullying. I was subjected to bullying when I was younger (pre-teens into early teens), so I have some experience of this and wanted to offer my thoughts.

I have no idea why anyone wanted to bully me. At that age I was rapidly closing in on being six foot tall. I wasn't super hunky yet, but I certainly wasn't a wimp, being on the rugby team in my first year of senior school (that's middle school for my American readers). Yet I was bullied. And because I wasn't small and didn't immediately give in, I was bullied by anywhere from four to six bad guys at a time.

The normal advice given to people concerning bullies is to stand up to them and fight back. This is good advice, when followed in the manner that I explained recently, but not for the reason that most people think. Not understanding the principle behind the advice means that when fighting back doesn't seem to work, they are confused and don't know what to do.

Truth!

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried."

Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965)

A Facebook friend of mine posted a picture recently of defense moves that a woman could use if attacked by a man. It was sincerely intentioned, but I felt strongly that I should reply. This post is based upon the response I gave him.

I hate to be a spoil sport, but as a former Judo instructor, I do have some insight into self-defense and full contact fighting and I always worry that people think moves like these are practical for untrained people, let alone a untrained smaller woman facing down a larger male adversary.

Most people, not just women, will freeze when attacked. This is unfortunately why most attacks succeed. This is because everyone reverts to training under extreme stress and most people have no training so they do nothing.

Why yes, I might see a little of the truth in this as I finish my own humble book!

Writing a book is an adventure. To begin with, it is a toy and an amusement; then it becomes a mistress, and then it becomes a master, and then a tyrant. The last phase is that just as you are about to be reconciled to your servitude, you kill the monster, and fling him out to the public.

Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965)

Back when I was a lad, my mother would tell me that she would not allow me to leave home until I knew how to wash, cook, clean and iron. And she made good on her word. When I left home at the tender age of 19 to head off for Radiography school I was equipped to operate in the real world ... or at least not starve to death and have clean clothes.

At the school (we lived in the upper floors and had lessons on the ground floor) I was one of only two guys and the other guy would take his laundry home every weekend for his mom to do. I washed mine on weekday evenings and cooked for myself and did my washing up afterwards. The female students were very impressed! I look back and am very thankful for my parent's wisdom in this preparation they gave me.

In the kitchen, I could cook rice and pasta and a number of different meats. I knew a couple of sauces to go with them and knew not to overcook vegetables during preparation. One time, I even got fancy and bought fresh fish and figured out how to grill it and even remembered to season it with dill. It was good. And for a party I made cupcakes. They were very well received.